Ominous Velour

The very first game I remember not playing was Duck Hunt when I was 5. My best friend, Chad, had it, and I wanted to play so badly. But his cousin had convinced him it was illegal for girls to play video games, and Chad was nothing if not a wholesale believer in anything anyone he trusted ever told him. He was in tears because he wanted to let me play but didn’t want to go to jail.

After that, my history with playing games was extensive but… mixed.

I got my first computer when I was 7 and haven’t had one since. From The Three Stooges on my Amiga 500, to MajorMUD on my favorite multi-line BBS, to LAN parties in my friends’ garages, absolutely skipping over the reasons I crave smoking a cigar every time I hear the music from Duke Nukem 3D, all the way to House Flipper 2 yesterday afternoon, I’ve always been a PC gamer first. Followed closely by tabletop, Nintendo, Xbox, and essentially anything that isn’t Playstation. (No hate, just budgets only stretch so far.) And almost always casual/cozy games, not because I have no interest in more challenging games, but simply because I have the reflexes and hand-eye coordination of a drunken toddler. It is what it is.

Tabletop gaming is more of a hit-or-miss for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it doesn’t always love me. I was 8 the first time a grown adult refused to play cribbage with me anymore, and 10 when it happened for Trivial Pursuit. Graceful losing is a challenge for me because my brain very helpfully likes to remind me that if I lose, I am, by nature, a loser. So, I play to win. And I definitely lack the necessary poker face to “lose” convincingly to spare another’s feelings. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad playing with me. I would happily throw a game if I knew it would make the other player feel good. I’m just saying they will for sure know that that is what happened and that tends to have the opposite of the intended effect.

For most tabletop games, though, I have a 3-play rule. I will play any game 3 times to get the hang of it and then I will almost always buy a copy for myself or add it to my mental list of “probably don’t bother playing that one again” games. Tokaido is my fave for introducing people to a new game, Stockticker is my “kill 6 hours on new year’s eve without blinking” Bae, and if you ever want to truly win my heart, find me a copy of Hansa Teutonica.

As far as physical games go, I would if I could, but I can’t, so I don’t.