Ominous Velour

The one constant of my life, all the way from birth (I assume. Age 3 is probably more accurate as far as things I can actually remember go) until now, is that at every age, I have felt too old to do the things I want to do. Like the opportunity has passed and now I’m stuck. And I know, looking back, that is has really never been true and honestly still isn’t, but I simply cannot seem to change that mindset.

Lose weight? What’s the point, I’m too old to be attractive even if I were skinny.

Go back to school? No point. I don’t have enough working years left to make it a viable investment in myself and come out any better financially.

Fall in love with the men of my dreams? They probably want someone 20 years my junior.

Have more kids? My body hasn’t been into that plan for way too long (but still feels that acne, cramps, and the crimson thunder are full go) and adoption costs a metric asstonne.

Travel the world? OK, I’m not actually too old for that but I will be by the time I can afford it.

Blah. Way to bring down the vibe, Jayjay.

I’m gonna go have a cookie.